


It's Always You

by y_oona



Series: Our Playlist on Shuffle [3]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Last part to In a movie for us, M/M, ya'll asked for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-12 01:25:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13536702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/y_oona/pseuds/y_oona
Summary: Through all odds, Seungcheol and Jeonghan try to find their way back to each otherBased off BTS's "Crystal Snow" and Seventeen's "Don't Wanna Cry"





	It's Always You

**Author's Note:**

> The last part to this series. Wanted it to get out of the way!  
> Also peep the inspirations from some parts of the story (aka Jeonghan feeding Seungcheol) but it won't be the exact same domesticness  
> You don't have to read the other parts since the backstory is still here, but it's suggested  
> Anyway 10/10 recommend listening to Crystal Snow and DWC because they're bops even if i'm not a fan of BTS

_“That’s a wrap! Good job everyone!”_

_Bowing to the production crew and the staff he turned to the hosts a bowed as well, before turning to the other guest star and bowing. “You did well, it’s nice to finally meet you Seungcheol!”_

_The other man bowed as well, smiling at the formality, “We’re the same age Jeonghan, don’t be so formal.”_

_The long-haired man nodded, allowing a laugh to escape his lips as they recounted the topic of the earlier taping._

 

 

_From: Unknown Number_  
_18:22  
Jeonghan! It’s Seungcheol, let’s get a drink_

_From: Yoon Jeonghan_  
_18:47  
_ _Sounds good!_

 

 

**NAVER NEWS: CELEB**

**_Drama King Choi Seungcheol shares photos of close friendship with Actor Yoon Jeonghan!_ **

**_Attack of Visuals: Actors Choi Seungcheol and Yoon Jeonghan reveal they’re best friends!_ **

**** ****

**_On and Off-Screen couple Im Nayoung and Choi Seungcheol one year anniversary_**!

 

 

_Taking a swig from the bottle, Seungcheol leaned back into the couch, staring out the window of Jeonghan’s apartment. “She’s shooting, yet again.”_

_“Cheol, we’re actors, you know how the game goes.” Jeonghan sat on one of his legs to face his best friend. “You can’t expect her to always spend time with you. She probably feels like this when you’ve got a packed schedule.”_

_“Then how come you always seem to have time for me?”_

_Jeonghan pressed his tongue to his cheek. If there was anything in the world he didn’t want to do, it was to answer that question, so he opts to scratch at the bottle’s label, peeling it off._

_“Jeonghan?”_

_“I make time,” He nods to himself, “Even if I’m tired, I make sure I have time.”_

_It was Seungcheol who made the first move. He was the one who leaned in to press his lips against Jeonghan’s as they sat there, basking in the moonlight that bled through the windows._

**_NAVER NEWS: CELEBS_ **

**_[BREAKING] Yoon Jeonghan attacked by an influx of fans at Incheon Airport coming from Osaka_ **

_From: Jeonghanie_  
_22:05  
_ _I need you_

_From: Cheol_  
_22:07  
_ _Open the door_

_“I love you.”_

_Jeonghan turned to Seungcheol, stunned by the words that came out of his mouth. Lifting his head from the other’s arm, he looked down at the pair of eye that were looking back at him, not caring about the cold air hitting his skin._

_“Cheol… I’m not Nayoung.”_

_“I know you aren’t. I’m glad you aren’t.”_

 

 

**NAVER NEWS: CELEB**

**_[BREAKING] Shocking! Choi Seungcheol and Yoon Jeonghan in a possible cheating scandal?  
_ ** _Actor Choi Seungcheol was spotted walking straight passed girlfriend Im Nayoung’s trailer, straight into best friend, Yoon Jeonghan’s trailer, not coming out till hours later. There are multiple accounts and pictures of him leaving Jeonghan’s apartment building early morning and going in late at night?_

_“Jeonghan I’m sorry.”_

_“It’s okay.”_

_“I don’t want it to end!”_

_“I told you. You can’t have both, but you tried."_

_“I don’t know what to say.”_

_"Tell the press what you want to say. Be yourself." He had smiled._

_Throwing his head back inside the van, his manager gave him a worried glance. Seungcheol didn’t bother looking at him, choosing to stare at the roof of the car._ ‘Stupid idiot…’

_Feeling his phone vibrate, he was fully expecting it to be his girlfriend._

_From: Jeonghanie_  
_19:34  
_ _Good interview. Glad your feelings were clear. And I’m glad you made your choice._

_“I have to go.”_

_“I know.”_

_“I wish I didn’t have to.”_

 

 

**NAVER NEWS: CELEBS  
**

**_Yoon Jeonghan casted for upcoming Hollywood film!_ **

  

 

_“Goodbye.”_

 

   ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

Snow piled high walking down the street, leaving a trail of footprints behind him. He really had nowhere else to go. Sure, he's alive right now, but it didn't mean he was living. Seungcheol didn't think he could. 

Someone used to give him the courage to live, be daring, do something he's never done before. 

They met through all odds, their story from some eyes were beautiful. But now, Seungcheol didn't know what to do. 

Slowly, for months at a time, things began to fall apart in his life, chipping away everything he had. If anything, he blames himself for it, because as much as people thought him a hero back then, he really was the villain. 

If had just refrained him, he hadn't been jealous. Maybe if he hadn't walked into Jeonghan's trailer almost two years ago, then maybe he wouldn't be in such a big mess. But he did.

Seungcheol was there to support his then girlfriend and then best friend on their set, only to be overcome with an overwhelming amount of jealously, when Jeonghan had been in the break area, holding hands and laughing with some guy.

And from there, it tumbled into a snowball effect all because Seungcheol makes the wrong move only to realize it too late. 

Like when the photos were released and the rumors of him dating Jeonghan and cheating on Nayoung flared. He panicked. But Jeonghan was composed and calm through it albeit angry. Seungcheol knew that the younger wanted their relationship to be official, but Jeonghan never pushed.

_"Tell the press what you want to say. Be yourself."_

Thus, the snowball got bigger. When he had talked to the press at the airport, he spoke a mile a minute while his heart was telling him to slow down because that's not at all what he wanted to say nor was he being himself. 

Not realizing the impact of what he had said until a text from the latter, he had wanted to eat his own words. The words that still haunt him.

_Good interview. Glad your feelings were clear. And I’m glad you made your choice._

 

What the two of them had was fragile. From that point, Seungcheol's major question was "Can we make it work?"

After the text, a series of unfortunate events between them continued to happen, Seungcheol was on the brink of insanity, not knowing whether to stay with him or stay with Nayoung. The world kept moving faster than they thought, not knowing how to change it. When Seungcheol was questioned what was going to happen, he’d answer, “We don’t know yet, but we will.”

But sadly, time passed, from their last meeting before the premiere to their very last moment together a year ago.

The love in their hearts was still there, neither were allowed to admit it, but it was, and it grew fonder, slowly but surely. All Seungcheol wanted to do was to hold him one more time before he left, before he disappeared off to a different country.

Staring up at the sky as the snow falls in his hair, decorating it like white tiny crystals.

Everything should have gone to normal with Jeonghan gone, but it seemed to take a turn for the worse when he woke up two months ago, to his fiancé packing all her things and shoving them into a suitcase.

“I should have known,” she wiped her tears angrily, as she continued to drag her clothes into the bag, “you kept postponing the wedding for a reason. I shouldn’t have believed you when you said nothing was between you two. I’m such an idiot!” Nayoung threw one of his T-shirts at his face out of rage.

“What? What the hell are you talking about?”

Grabbing the remote, she turned it on, the headline staring at him like a ghost from the past.

**Actor Yoon Jeonghan reveals he’s gay during American interview.**

_“News from across the world hits us today. The beloved actor Yoon Jeonghan who left the Korean entertainment industry when recruited for America’s big screen has come out as gay, casually through a red-carpet interview.”_

_“Jeonghan! What’s it like having one of the major roles as one of your first movies her in California?”_

Seungcheol’s eyes widened in awe as he saw Jeonghan’s smiling face, hair blond and ruffled in a sleek black suit.

 _“It’s an honor, everyone was so welcoming and I really appreciate everything they’ve done for me and helping me out, it was really a culture shock.”_ His English was slightly accented, but it was close to perfect.

_“I see you’re here alone. You don’t have a girlfriend?”_

Laughing, Jeonghan shook his head, _“No, I’m actually gay, first time I’m actually saying it out loud. But no, definitely no girlfriend.”_

_“What about a boyfriend?”_

His breath hitched when he said it. Seungcheol could see the slight shock on the blond’s face to see how well and accepting the interviewers seemed to take it.

_“No, I haven’t found the right person yet.”_

The interview paused and faded out, revealing the news anchor once more.

_“It seems that Jeonghan has known that he’s gay but has hidden it while here in Korea. Which raises the question that we all thought was buried? Did Choi Seungcheol and Yoon Jeonghan lie when they said there was nothing between them?”_

“Did you lie?”

Snapping his head back to Nayoung, he didn’t even try to hide his guilt, he wasn’t even afraid of the backlash. The secret was basically out. “I was in love with him.”

_‘I am in love with him.’_

 

It took some time for the bruise on his face to heal from the remote she had thrown at him, but ever since then, Seungcheol has felt lighter, as if the weight from his shoulders had been lifted. Although neither him nor his company has yet to make a statement for his privacy, he’d taken an indefinite hiatus from all activities. 

Lately, his mind has been wandering to Jeonghan more so than ever. In his dreams are when the want, the need, is at its strongest. It’d always start off the same; the two of them would be together in a house on a hill that over looked a city, the perfect view of the sunset. They’d sit together on the balcony, watching as the sun goes down, but as soon as he reached out to hold Jeonghan’s hand, he’d get further and further, slipping through his fingers everytime.

“How are you?” Vernon poured him some water, he didn’t feel like drinking today.

“I could be better, you know, if he wasn’t always the top story,” He sighed, ignoring the sympathetic look on the bartender’s face. It hurts a bit when he sees the little smile on Jeonghan’s face from time to time. “What would you do? I want to be closer to him, but I know I can’t. I want solve whatever problem I have with my love life, but I don’t know how I’m gonna find the answer.”

“Want the answer?”

“Please let me know.”

Nodding towards the TV screen that, sadly, was playing the movie Jeonghan has starred in with Nayoung. Vernon offered the kindest smile, “Go to him.”

 

The thing about snow, is that it takes on any ambiguous shape, and no two snowflakes look the same. Just like a love story, no love story was identical. There will always be stories of love at first sights, and rivals turned lovers, but they all had different details; even the with unrequited love. Seungcheol couldn’t stand his at the moment, but he was determined to change it. He promised himself he would.

Because there he was, hiding under a hat and mask with Vernon, on a plane to Los Angeles. His mind was filled to the brim with memories of them together, the good and the bad ones. He remembers how in their last goodbye how red his eyes were and how fast the tears were falling, how he wanted to hold him and protect him one more time. How he still wants to be the one for Jeonghan even after a year apart.

Looking up at the sky, he couldn’t see a single star in the sky that continues to snow, with a thick white fog covering the ground below them.

The two of them have been far apart for so long, even if they were meant to be together, no matter how badly both wanted it, they really couldn’t choose what would happen.

It doesn’t stop Seungcheol in any way. He still watches and keeps tabs on Jeonghan as he shines bright in America, he’d always tell himself he’d wait for him no matter where he was. Seungcheol wanted to see him. So, he hopes, that when the time comes for them to finally see each other, he’d take his hand, even if Jeonghan was faking any sort of emotion, he’d take his hand.

“The worst case in scenario is he says no,” his best friend whispers to him, trying to get him to stop staring longingly out of the window.”

Nodding his head, he chants that in his hand like a mantra. Even if Los Angele was huge, Seungcheol wasn’t going to stop until he found him. Because even though words aren’t enough to express his feelings, he just hopes that Jeonghan believes him. It doesn’t even have to be at that moment; just, someday.

_‘It’s always you.’_

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
_

_“Because I love you.” He had said one night. It was in response to when Seungcheol asked him why he had suggested to end things._

_“And I love you too, so why would you end it.”_

_Because the words never seemed enough. “You’re going to end up losing one of us eventually.”_

Sighing, he continued to stir his coffee, giving himself a mini scolding session in his head for thinking about such a pointless moment.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I don’t think I should tell you.” He said in a childish tone, taking a sip from the mug.

“Jeonghan I’m your therapist.”

“Oh yeah?” he basically spoke inside the mug, “You’re not doing a very good job. I’m still emotionally unstable.”

The woman sighed tossing her clipboard on the table before putting her feet up on the couch, “I swear, you’re going to make me need therapy.”

“Joshua said you were the best Tiffany. So, therapize me.”

After the filming of his first movie, Jeonghan had some in between time to job hunt. But sadly, that also meant that he’d be less distracted and focused on other things causing his mind to wander back to where his heart was. In Korea. It only started flaring warning bells when one night he returned home drunk, and began causing a ruckus inside the house, throwing books and pillows at the wall, successfully and unintentionally waking Joshua up from the second floor.

“Jeonghan!” He rushed towards the actor who sat in the middle of the living room, head buried in his knees.

“I loved him so much…” his words were clear but his breath reeked of booze, “Where did he go? He left because he doesn’t like me anymore?”

Biting his lip, Joshua searched the dark living room for some type of answer to give him, something other than the truth. “You’re drunk, come on.”

“He’s going to show up, right? I just have to wait longer.”

“Jeonghan... You’re the one who left him. He left you the first time, but he came back. You left the second time.”

“Don’t joke around like that Shua!” He hissed picking himself up and began stumbling to the door, “I know he’s coming for me, and I need to find him and I can’t cry; if I cry I might not see him.”

Collapsing after taking a couple more steps, Joshua sighed at his best friend. “And you’re wasted.”

In light of the scene he caused inside the house, it wasn’t a suggestion more of a recommendation he had to take, when Joshua dropped him off to a therapist three weeks ago.

“I’m begging you then,” Tiffany sat correctly once more and leaned forward, “Cooperate with me, and just open up. I could ask Joshua why he brings you here but I want to hear it from you.”

Quietly, he nodded. Shifting his position, he took a deep breath. “I don’t wanna cry. I know I should cry because that’s what everyone says. I haven’t cried since leaving Korea, so I know I probably have a lot of tears that need to come out… but I don’t wanna cry.”

Sighing a breath of relief, Tiffany pens down some notes before giving him her full attention once again. “Do you know why you don’t want to?”

Jeonghan began chewing on his bottom lip, not really sure what to say. It’s hard to put into words but it all came down to the truth. “Because since I left, I feel like I don’t have a right to.”

“Can you tell me his name?”

“Can we just not call him by name. I don’t want to say his name.”

Tiffany of course agrees to the condition if it means it gets her patient to talk. But it still calls to question what exactly went down between them.

“He has a fiancé… but they were only dating when we started our messy situation.”

“Did you know about his girlfriend?”

“Yeah I did. It was this huge thing and… I just don’t know where to start.”

“Let’s start with the main reason that brought you here,” Tiffany flipped through her notes, “Joshua was worried about you because you came home wasted, throwing things and how you were so out of it you thought that he was going to come and find you and talking about how he didn’t love you anymore.”

“So? It happened once.”

“No Jeonghan,” She shook her head with concern, “It’s apparently happened more than five times within the last month.”

 

“I’ve been throwing temper tantrums and you haven’t told me?” He slammed the door behind him.

“You blacked out almost every time, and by the time you woke up, you were nursing your headache and throwing up,” Joshua defended himself, “I wanted to talk to you about it, but I already know how much he’s affected you. I want to be there for you, but I’m a full-time grad-student, I don’t have time.”

“But how does seeing a shrink help me at all?”

“I’m worried about you, I’ve been worried about you even since before we left Korea.” The American confessed. It was hard enough to even convince him to see a therapist, but outright explaining how worried he was would never get easier. Knowing how much Jeonghan thought of Seungcheol, maybe even conjuring up that he’d show up was extensive. He just wanted his best friend to not need work to distract himself from thinking about someone who was across the ocean.

“I loved Seungcheol, not in the way you do of course, but he was an amazing guy. He was such a good friend too, hell even I miss him sometimes. But when you’re drunk and out of it, I hate him because it’s like you need him to function and I want you to be your own person. With or without him.”

Dropping his keys on the table by the entrance, he sat down on the staircase, brushing his hands down his face. “Tiffany says it’s my coping mechanism…” Joshua went around and sat next to him, unaware that they actually talked about the problem. “She said that my insecurities run deep and when I left Korea, more so him, it became extensive since apparently, Seungcheol was my reassurance and made me feel secure I guess. So, I project my insecurities by wanting him back because no matter how much I deny it, I still want him. She also thinks that it started when he picked Nayoung, but then I panicked when I saw him the morning I left.”

“Are you gonna go back to talk to her?”

“Yeah… If she thinks I’m too dependent on him then I want to learn how to not be.”

Joshua wrapped his arms around his shoulders, although it was unexpected that Jeonghan knew that he in fact was dependent on the other actor was enough for him.

 

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  

 

Jeonghan sat on the couch alone. Situated perfectly in the middle of the large bay window, he stared out into the afternoon light, at the hidden houses within the trees. He skipped out on his meeting with his agent today for a sick day since he realized he hasn’t spent time for himself lately. Wearing his favorite sweater (Wonwoo had gifted it to him one Christmas, a varsity sweater that was white with red and blue on the collar and cuffs. “I get a Danny Zuko vibe after he joins the track team.” “Did Joshua make you watch Grease too?”) and white pants, he aimed for the look of angsty model looking for happiness as he doodled on a clip board.

“Your hair matches your outfit.” Joshua had pointed out before leaving for the morning, mouth full of an apple he had bitten, “Like a misplaced angel who made it to varsity."

“I was hoping for an angsty college student who aspires to major in photography but lost his love because he chose to run a bar in Korea instead of going to college with me.” 

Shoving his notebooks in his bag, Joshua took another bite from his apple, “Just for that comment, you’re buying your own dinner tonight.”

Laughing as a rag was thrown at him, he shot his apologies as the other walked out. “And I’m literally a business major!”

“It was for the angst effect!”

The little exchange had brightened his mood significantly, but as the hours drew on, loneliness began consuming him once more. His only company was the sun keeping him warm.

He wants fresh air, so he moves to open the window on the other side of the room, but stops himself when he sees Joshua’s phone laying on the other side of the coffee table.

_‘Idiot took my phone…’_

Deciding to be the nosy friend he is, he unlocked the phone just to go through social media. Jeonghan had gone against everything and deleted it since he got to America. He knew the backlash he’d get and the hate, especially in light of recent news of how he came out as gay. There just wasn’t room for that kind of negativity at the moment.

Looking through Instagram first he smiles at the photos of all his friends out having fun over in Korea, he misses them dearly, but he’s met some great people here too.

Switching over to Snapchat, he left all of his snaps unopened since he didn’t want to invade too much, so he chose to look at the new stories. Refreshing the Snap Story page, his eyebrows scrunched out of confusion when he saw the name “Hansol Vernon” come at the top. Updated fifteen minutes ago. It was weird because that would mean he’d be awake at six in the morning in Korea, but that seemed out of character for him.

Tapping it, he nearly dropped his phone when the sun was out behind his old friend.

 _“Chocolate Chair’s the best!”_ Vernon bit into the dragon’s breath, causing smoke to blow out from him mouth. Spinning the camera around, Jeonghan ended up dropping the phone on the rug, not expecting to see Seungcheol blowing smoke into the camera.

“Chocolate Chair…” Jeonghan’s breathing became short as the dots began connecting in his head. “ LA… he’s in LA… Seungcheol’s in LA.”

The blond ran down the stairs as fast as he could, Joshua’s phone and his keys in hand, nearly slamming the wooden door behind him as he sprinted out of the house.

 

He didn’t know where he was going at this point. He didn’t know where he was. Even if he’s taken this path daily, it seemed so unfamiliar at the moment. Seungcheol was here in Los Angeles. But he felt so lost.

Is he looking for me?

Out of pure impulse, he messaged Vernon off of Joshua’s phone. He needed to know, so he’d finally find out if he’s gone mad.

_‘Because I’m looking for him right now.’_

The phone began to ring, and Jeonghan was unsure if he should answer it. Flashing the caller ID, he knew that even if it says Hansol, it meant it was Seungcheol on the other end.

Swiping to answer, he leaned against the brick wall and pressed it to his ear, refusing to let out a single breath.

“Jeonghan?”

Knives. It felt like breathing in knives hearing the voice once more.

“Please don’t mess around, I know you’re there. Jeonghan.”

Keeping silent, he felt his eyes burn as his knees began to shake. His vision became blurrier and blurrier as the seconds passed.

“I need to see you.”

Looking up, he let out a steady breath.

“The corner of Beverly and Normandie.”

“You’re what…”

Dumbfounded at the breathless voice, he stood up straight, instinctually turning the corner.

 

The street lights above him began flickering, which was odd since the sun was still up, but the two stood frozen on the empty sidewalk. The only thing keeping them apart was the street and their reluctant mind keeping them from taking a step closer; in fear of this all being a dream.

Seungcheol was the one who took the step to cross the street. Slowly, walked over. Jeonghan still had the phone pressed to his ear, as if he was waiting for someone to tell him he was hallucinating. Not until Seungcheol was at arm’s reach.

“I’m alright.”

Jeonghan knew it’d be the first question the older would ask, so he answered first, not ready to hear his voice up close.

“I’m not.”

His breath wavered as he gave the brunet a once over. Plain white shirt, ripped jeans, his go to outfit.

“I don’t miss you.”

Meaningless words he kept spewing out. Still, he felt the need to say them, even if they were lies, they still needed to be said.

“I miss you so much.”

Jeonghan’s heart kept drumming against his chest, not listening to what his mind was saying. He had to turn away, he didn’t want to cry, he even considered running.

“Come back. Turn around. Please don’t leave.”

The blond wanted to laugh at the moment. Thinking back to a time when things weren’t as serious as they were at the moment, Wonwoo would tease him with the dramatics. “What would happen if he wanted to end it? How would you function?”

At that time, Jeonghan had laughed, flinging peanuts in his direction, “It’s a fling, he’s not my other half.”

“It’s me, Jeonghan, an award-winning actor, ahoo… how can I go on living as one if my other half is gone!” Wonwoo has dramatically tumbled onto the couch.

“You’re being so dramatic!”

But oh, how right he was.

“I kept wondering when I’d see you again. If I’d cry when I did. But I don’t want to.” The footsteps drew closer to him. “And I hate myself for never thinking of going to you.”

 

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  

 

“So…”

“These oranges are good.” Jeonghan nibbled on a piece as he continued to peel. He sat in the corner of the couch, his feet on the cushion. Stretching out his arm he held an orange piece. Without hesitation, Seungcheol grabbed it with his mouth.

“Are they from Florida?”

“No, they’re from here.”

“Really?”

“Jeonghan!”

The two turned their heads to face a perplexed therapist.

“I’m sorry did you want one?”

“No. I want to know who this man is.”

“Oh hi! I’m Seungcheol.”

“He’s the person who broke my heart and left me to rot.” He stated as if it was the most normal topic on earth. Tiffany was extremely concerned since Jeonghan popped another orange in his mouth with a smile on his face.

“So, you brought him to our therapy session?”

“This is a therapy session? You’re seeing a therapist?”

“Yeah,” the blond scoffed throwing the orange core at him, “No thanks to you. You broke me.”

"You said we were meeting with a friend. I broke you?”

“When did you arrive- wait… you’re the Choi Seungcheol? The actor? In all those K-Dramas?” Slowly, piece by piece, Jeonghan's situation seemed so clear. Him and Seungcheol were the big actors who got into such a messy controversy all her friends were talking about over a year ago. If it weren't for her self control and doctor patient confidentiality, she'd be calling her best friends right now to tell them. 

“Yeah. I arrived last week but I didn’t see him until three days ago.” He shifted his position to face Tiffany, “I broke him?”

“Back track. First things first.” She ignored the presence of the other actor to turn to her actual patient. “He’s here Jeonghan. Have you cried?”

Jeonghan looked up, as if he was trying to think if he has yet, eventually shaking his head. “Not a single tear.”

“What have you guys done in the past three days?”

“Joshua and Vernon took us to Six Flags. That was fun. We went to the Getty because Vernon wanted to go on a date with Joshua. We had sex. Oh! We went back to Chocolate Chair! Have you been there? It’s really hard to avoid k-drama fans-”

“You two had sex?”

The two looked at each other, as if to confirm that they indeed had sex, before nodding.

His therapist seemed to be exploding inside because even Jeonghan could admit that he’s probably the worst patient anybody could ever have. “Neither of you have talked about what happened? At all?”

“I mean… that’s how it was before. We were best friends before emotions and feelings got in the way.”

“Both of you have to talk about it. The dependency and the insecurities, especially if he’s back in your life-” she paused, “Are you even back for good Seungcheol?”

This time, Jeonghan gave him an unreadable expression. Was Seungcheol staying?

“Talk about this. I’ll leave you two alone. But you can’t just avoid it.” Tiffany semi-scolded before walking out of her own office.

“Are you here for me?”

“What insecurities?”

Sitting in silence, Jeonghan picked at his nails while Seungcheol played with the orange peels, not knowing if they should answer each other’s questions.

“Nayoung and I broke up; I’m taking a break from acting for a while.”

Biting his lip, Jeonghan looked at him through his eyelashes. “Did she leave you or did you leave her?”

“Why are you asking?”

“So, I know if you’re here because I’m a second choice or because you actually chose me.”

“Jeonghan-”

“They’re right,” he said pushing himself off the couch to stretch his legs, “I’m so damn dependent on you. Of your attention. Of everything! When you can’t even put a hundred percent into a relationship!”

“I came here for you! I needed you! Yeah sure, Nayoung was the one who left me, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think about leaving!”

“Then why the hell didn’t you!” Jeonghan screamed at the top of his lungs, it was the first time Seungcheol had ever heard him yell. “You’re a selfish bastard who wanted everything in the world! You kissed me first. You said I love you first. Yet you’re the one who decided to stay with her to save your image! Then you proposed to her! Then when I’m about to leave the God damn country, you decide you want to love me again, you decide that you want to be with me when that’s all I’ve wanted! To be with you! That’s all I asked for and yet I couldn’t have it!”

“You wouldn’t listen to me! I’m sorry! I’m sorry that I left you. I’m sorry I didn’t love you like I was supposed to. And I will never forgive myself for picking Nayoung over you. But you’re not the second choice. I was tangled with commitments and her back in Korea until recently,” he all but crawled on his knees, trying to get Jeonghan to face him, “You were always my first choice. Something in me was hoping you’d return to Korea someday and I’d be able to finally drop everything and be with you. And I was at fault there too because I was here depending on you to comeback when really I should have been the one going to you.”

Jeonghan’s eyes burned once more. He couldn’t see Seungcheol anymore, all he saw was an array of colors. Blinking, everything became clear again as he felt a trail of tears roll down his face.

“I’m insecure. I have insecurities and when you left me, you broke me,” his voice shook as he recited what him and Tiffany had talked about last session. “You made me feel secure so I grew dependent on you. I have to learn how to not rely on you. Because if you leave again, the feeling of inadequacy will come back.”

Seungcheol reached out to wipe away the tears only to have Jeonghan flinch away. “Han… I-”

“When you left, it felt like I wasn’t good enough. Every day I waited for you to come back. But you didn’t. So, I drew the line when you got engaged. But I secretly still waited.” He dug his nails into his palm, trying to calm himself down. “I can’t depend on you like I did before. I can’t keep waiting for you to pick me.”

“I’m not leaving you. Not again.”

"But I need to be ready for when you do.”

 

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

Not long after, his meeting with Tiffany seemed to turn into a mini group therapy session for both him and Seungcheol; luckily for Tiffany, she got responses this time around since seeing them three times a week helped. 

“I was the other woman!”

“You’re not a woman!”

“I was being hypothetical you piece of shit!”

Some days, they decided to be passive aggressive the entire time.

“Of course, I’m not mad about you slamming the door in my face.”

“And we don’t even have to talk about how you literally used me for sex, and that’s it.”

“Are we really going to ignore the fact that for some ungodly reason I'm still in love with you?"

“You just enjoy everything that goes your way, right?” 

“Unlike some people.”

Seungcheol received a pillow to the face after that conversation.

But lately, Tiffany has been able to peel back, to almost the root cause for this entire fiasco.

Sitting down with the two of them once more, after three weeks of meeting, she noticed how neither of them were looking at each other.

“I think I owe Jeonghan an apology.” Perking up, he gave her a look of puzzlement. “To some degree, you are dependent on Seungcheol we went over that, and yes you do have your insecurities. But after these past few weeks I’ve come to terms that you aren’t dependent on him to where you need his constant approval, you’re dependent to where you feel the need to take care of him.”

Seungcheol watches the therapist turn to him this time, not knowing what she was going to say. “It’s you who’s dependent on Jeonghan. You need the reassurance that he’s there and that he’s still available to you all the time. You both need each other, just Seungcheol more so than Jeonghan.”

“So, what? Are you going to tell me I need time away from him? We both spent over a year away from each other. I listened to you and I don’t go and see him until these sessions, what more can I do to make sure neither of us makes it a toxic relationship?” He sounded desperate at that point. He wanted to be happy with Jeonghan, in a healthy, committed, loving relationship with him, without being underneath a microscope all the time.

“I’m saying, if you really want to make this work you guys need to communicate, and understand each other. It takes two to be in a relationship for it to work. If both of you are willing to put in the effort, then I don’t see why not.” She smiled at the brunet, “Jeonghan? Are you willing to try?”

Jeonghan stared at his shoes for a long time. Was he ready to go back to Seungcheol? After what they both had been through, was he ready to actually commit and have a real relationship with him?

“Han… It’s your call.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**NAVER NEWS: CELEBS**

**_[BREAKING] Choi Seungcheol, Yoon Jeonghan spotted in LA together_ **

**_[UPDATE] [BREAKING] Photo evidence of the two; they are official!_ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the house on the hill that over looked the sunset and the trees, Seungcheol sat on the couch placed in the middle of the bay window, with Jeonghan comfortably placed between his legs, back to chest, as he scrolled through Instagram. 

“We should visit Korea soon,” He hums, wrapping his arms around the younger’s waist to pull him closer.

“I’d prefer not to be the target of the media, thank you very much.”

Pressing his nose to the crown of Jeonghan’s hair, he inhaled deeply. It was true. Two years ago, the two had gone back to celebrate New Year’s with their family to only be bombarded with the press as soon as they landed. It was one of the less peaceful vacations they’ve taken. Both their names made headlines their entire stay, even breathing near each other in public stirred people the wrong way.

It didn’t help that everywhere they went, a reporter continuously asked them about the past controversy and bringing up his old fiancé. Thankfully it didn’t drive a wedge between the couple, instead it just added more stress.

Their parents had suggested that next time, they’d go visit them in California instead, to which nobody had any protests to.

Intertwining their fingers together, he allowed Jeonghan to play with his fingers (a habit Seungcheol is still very fond of), “Are you sure you don’t want to do anything on our anniversary?”

“I’m taping next week, and I don’t want you to plan something out only for me not to be done in time,” Jeonghan pouts as he leans his head back onto the other’s shoulder. Giving into the temptation, he leans up to give Seungcheol’s jaw a quick peck, “I just want to be able to come home and have you here before your production takes you the week after.”

Three years going strong and neither of them could be happier. It was a rocky start at the beginning with them being fresh out of therapy and them testing the waters out. But after a couple of months it’s been smooth sailing. The two were a very open couple, and neither of them knew what they were missing back in Korea where the only display of affection could be behind four walls. What made it better was the overwhelming amount of support the two received when the public got wind of them. Granted there would be people who disliked gay people, or the people who shipped Jeonghan and Seungcheol with their onscreen pairing, but they didn’t matter.

Jeonghan held up their hands against the light coming from the sunset, the two wedding bands wrapped around their ring fingers where they belonged. Nobody else mattered because they love each other. Even if they needed space, or wanted to cling onto each other, even if one was across the country filming while the other remained in California, the trust, love and devotion was still there.

Because they were starring in their own little movie, just for them.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this series! Sorry for this mess of an update. I'm sorry for any mistakes, the last part of the story didn't have a song to it so...  
> Also, you guys should have expected me to use DWC. It's a given. I'll go back and edit! Till next time!


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